Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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