Only a mothe r could love this liver
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
