Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
