Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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