Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
