actually, I'm a sock model
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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