we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
BRING THE BAGELS
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
