What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
