I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
