Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
