btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You can't motorboat a personality
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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