you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
