at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
