Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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