Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
