3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
