I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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