He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
