Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Green mimosas i think yes
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
