More tranny stories later!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
