It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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