just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
