I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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