Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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