We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize