i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
