you would pick up someone in the library
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
