I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
