Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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