She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
