so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
