is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
