Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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