In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
