Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
