she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
