You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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