the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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