cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize