Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
