she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize