2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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