My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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