you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
