Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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