her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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