My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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