your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
