escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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