the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
