I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You dont lie about slip and slides
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
