They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
