I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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