He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
