I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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